Perfection
by firefairydog94
Summary: Rose Weasley was the essence of perfection. Or so everyone thought. Full summary inside. Warning: Eating disorders and other adult content. Don't read if you are easily insulted by those things.
1. Little Miss Perfect

**Title: Perfection  
****Rating: M  
****Ship: Rose/Scorpius (In later chapters)  
****Summary: All I wanted was to be beautiful. For him to like me just as much as I liked him. To be the perfect person everyone thought I was. All in all though, I just wanted to be happy. I thought the true key to that happiness was being thin. Unfortunately I lost all of my happiness in a search for that key…. WARNING: Eating disorders and other adult content. Don't read if you are extremely sensitive about that kind of stuff. **

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'_Everything happens for a reason', I told myself clutching my knees up to my chest. 'Things will get better, they always do', I also tried telling myself. It was no use. My sobs had become uncontrollable by that point. _

'_Everything in my life has become uncontrollable', I thought bringing my hand up to my brown eyes and wiping away some of the tears. I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror I was sitting across from. I moved my legs down so I could have a clear view of my body that was covered only by a blue bra and matching knickers. It was disgusting. I was disgusting. Everything about me was hideous. My curly dull red hair, my gross tired-looking brown eyes, my ribcage that could be so easily viewed by others, my hipbones that were poking out from above my underwear line…..but my outside appearance wasn't what scared me anymore. What scared me was the fact that I could look in the mirror and not recognize the girl who was staring straight back at me. _

_I sadly glanced over towards the night stand that was directly next to my unmade bed. My eyes quickly fixated on the framed picture that sat on top of it. It was turned face down hiding the actual photo from plain sight._

_I shook my knowingly, and slowly stood up from the chair I had been previously sitting in. Weakly walking over to the night stand; I picked up the picture. Looking down at it I let out a deep sigh feeling even more tears welling up in my dry red eyes. The picture was of a teenage girl who was smiling and blowing kisses towards the camera, laughing as she did so. She was so beautiful. Her smile was full of life and excitement. Her pretty vibrant red hair framed her equally as pretty and vibrant face. She looked, to be said quite simply, happy. _

_I put the picture back down, only this time face up. Tears freely running down my cheeks, I turned back around and looked at my reflection in the full length mirror for what seemed like the millionth time in my life. It was the same girl. She had gotten what she had wanted. She was "skinny". Her beauty, though, had disappeared along with every ounce of fat that was on her already slim body. The girl was now completely ugly. Inside and out. _

_I refused to believe that girl was me. I was strong. I didn't have a bad childhood. I was never abused. Things like that just didn't happen to people like me. 'I'm in complete control of everything that's happening to my body!'_

_I didn't even try to fool myself that time. I could hear my mum calling for me from downstairs. She knew. My dad knew. My entire family knew. Hell even random people on the streets could easily tell. I just wished I hadn't been the last one to realize... _

'_I'll stop,' I told my self for the thousandth time that year. 'Before it's too late.'_

_But what if it already was? _

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****1 Year Prior****

"I'm coming!" I called downstairs, still annoyed at the fact I was being forced to get up earlier then I would on a normal summer day. I gave my reflection one last disgusted look before sighing, grabbing my Hogwarts trunk, and hauling it down the long flight of stairs.

"Smile!" Hugo exclaimed practically shoving a camera in my face as I stepped down from the last stair.

"Uhg! Why did mum and dad get you that thing anyway!?" I pushed the camera out of my face still carrying my trunk towards the front door.

"Come on just one!?" Hugo pleaded.

"Fine," I muttered putting the trunk down and blowing a kiss towards the camera, laughing as I saw my younger brothers face. "Happy now?"

"Not really," He muttered.

"Come on you two, we're going to miss the train if we don't hurry!" My mum quickly appeared behind me practically pushing Hugo and I out the front door.

"Bloody hell! What did you pack in here? Rocks, coal, a person?!" My dad exclaimed taking the trunk from my hands and heaving it into the back of the car.

"Yes, dad! I packed a PERSON!" I rolled my eyes as I squeezed into the back seat of the small car along with my brother.

"Lord only knows what you do with that person…" Hugo laughed. "Ouch!" he exclaimed after I had playfully slapped his arm. "Mum-!"

"Oh stop being such a baby!" I spat smiling at my bothers reaction. He could be so annoying at times. Funny, but annoying none the less.

"I'm not a baby-!"

"So," My mum broke into the conversation before any major argument could start. "Are you excited for your 6th year Rose?" She looked over her right shoulder smiling broadly at me.

"…Hardly..." I murmured, a less-then-thrilled tone in my voice.

"Says the girl who almost got straight O's on her OWLs, and is a Gryffindor prefect!" My brother glared at me evilly. He had been PMSing ever since my O.W.L. scores came in the mail. Its not my fault I inherited my mums brain, and he inherited, well....not a single good trait from either of our parents. Really though, making my life living hell wasn't going to make him any smarter.

"AND quidditch captain!" My dad put in.

"Oh yea! Rose if just little Miss perfect, isn't she!" Hugo rolled his blue eyes pushing a piece of brown hair away from his face.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Perfect…"

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**A/N: I originally started this story meaning for it to be about Hermione, but I quickly scrapped the idea and wrote it with Rose instead. (I guess I'm forever destined to write next generation fics, huh?)**

**Anyway, it's just one of the many stories I've had an idea for, and decided to post. Let me know in a review if you want me to continue with it, or not. **

**Oh and the whole "I thought the key to happiness was being thin, but I lost my happiness in a search for that key" thing I copied from someone's AIM away message. xD So, alas, I cannot take credit for it. lol **

**Thanks for reading! **

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	2. The Scale

**The Scale; Chapter 2**

Being back at Hogwarts was always kind of a bittersweet experience for me. 6th year, especially, seemed to be no exception. On the one hand I was glad to be able see all of my friends again, but on the other, it was very stressful. Truthfully, I had spent almost all of my summer dreading the start of term. _It can't be that bad. _I tried convincing myself. _It'll just be like all the other years I've spent here._

"So Rose," Sarah Longbottom laughed interrupting my previous thoughts. "What about you?"

"Huh?" I asked, realizing I hadn't been paying much attention to her and Amanda Finnigan's conversation during most of the feast in the great hall.

"What classes are you going to take?" Sarah repeated calmly.

I shrugged. "Definitely Advanced Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Defense against the Dark Arts. Also, probably, I'm going to continue on with Charms, and Muggle stu- "

"Whoa!" Amanda cried holding up her hands. "Don't you think that's a little much?"

"Yeah, what about free period?" Sarah cut in flipping a piece of long blond hair behind her back.

I shrugged. "I don't need it." I stated simply.

"You're going to take 6 advanced classes without a single free period in between them?" Amanda narrowed her eyes skeptically. "Plus be quidditch captain?"

I nodded as if I couldn't see a single flaw in my plan for that year.

"Okay...well, congrats on making Gryffindor captain anyway," Sarah smiled genuinely at me, and continued to eat the food that was in front of her.

"Yeah, I was honestly kinda shocked that I got it instead of Al, but whatever-"

"Because you're so much better of a quidditch player then he is!" Amanda exclaimed laughing. "Seriously though, you're like the best chaser in this entire school."

"Thanks," I smiled "But Al is a pretty kick arse seeker if you ask me."

"What about James?" Amanda asked. "Did he ever rejoin the team?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't know why though. I guess he just stopped liking quidditch after his 5th year…"

"Hmm," Amanda shrugged.

"Sooo," Sarah smiled widely. "Is anyone else exceptionally and usually excited that we're going to be able to take out apparition tests this year?"

"Oh crap, I forgot about apparition lessons!" I groaned mentally noting the fact I was going to be forced to learn how to apprate that year. I sighed deciding against complaining even more. Instead I blankly looked down at my untouched plate. _Oh well…I'm not really hungry anyway. _I discretely moved my eyes away from my 2 friends, and over towards the slytherin table. There he was. Scorpius Malfoy. Shoving and ungodly amount food into his overly handsome mouth…Boys were so lucky. They could eat as much as they wanted to and still not gain and ounce. _Yeah boys like that don't date fat girls like you! _A voice in my head said. I quickly shook it away and looked back down at my empty plate. It was probably best. After all the calories I had consumed over the summer, I didn't need to consume any more.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

After the feast was completely over and everyone was settled into their houses I made a quick, innocent, trip to the Gryffindor girl's dormitory bathroom. I noticed a single difference about the bathroom as I was washing my hands, though. Over to my right side was a small, muggle-looking, scale. _Who puts a scale in a girls bathroom!?_ I asked myself just simply staring at the object. _Must have been a first year. _I decided.

I quickly glanced around the bathroom making sure I really was the only one in it. I was. Walking over to the scale I, for curiosity purposes only, stepped on top of it. My brown eyes widened in horror at the number that popped up. _131 _It proclaimed in big, red, digital letter. I had gained 6 whole pounds from the previous year! I hastily stepped off of the scale and stepped back on again as if to make sure the number was correct. It was. _Holy crap! I'm 5"9 and 131 pounds! I'm a fucking cow! _I thought, speedily turning around and looking back at my reflection in the mirrors of the bathroom.

My hips were quite large actually. And my god! My stomach! I pulled my sweater up to my chest revealing my pale, disgusting looking, stomach. (A habit I had gotten into during the summer months.)

_I'll just loose the extra weight. _I thought trying to calm myself down. I'd just lose those 6 pounds that I had put on over the past year. _125 pounds. _I concluded. _Perfect. _

If only then I knew I wrong I really was.

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**A/N: Sooo yeah. I'm going to be using pounds/feet, instead of meters/kilograms. I know I know….but if I use meters/kilograms I going to get overly confused about everything I write about. In case anyone is wondering though, 131 pounds=59.42 kg, and 5"9=1.524m.  
****That's a BMI of LESS then 20, so trust me when I say, Rose is far from fat. (I actually just used my own exact measurement to make it easier for me to remember hehe) But yeah, anyway, it's considered fairly slim.  
****P.S. I know I used the same character (Sarah) from my story ****The blue eyed blogger****, except the roles of her and Rose are a little bit switched in this one. ;)  
P.P.S I don't really know/remember if free period at Hogwarts is optional, but I guess in this story it is lol  
****Thanks for reading! Please review! :D **


	3. Tryouts

**A/N: Ahhh! It's been forever, I know! I'm sorry. Over a month since the last update? Such an eventful month, though. I mean MJ is dead and The Half Blood Prince world premier has already happened! *eek!* Gees time flies when you're not updating a story. Lol  
Anyway, here is the next chapter. Hopefully you semi-remember what was going on.**

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"Ouch!" I cried out in pain. "Sarah! What the f-?"

"Sorry," Sarah Longbottom exclaimed apologetically, picking up the Advanced Potions textbook she had managed to less-then-gracefully drop on my left foot.

"Remind me again WHY you bring that thing to lunch?" I asked limply taking a seat next to Amanda Finnigan at the long table. "It weighs more then me, and trust me, I weigh a lot!"

"Rose you don't understand," Sarah gushed, hastily chucking the large textbook up onto the table and ignoring my previous comment about my weight. "If I don't start studying now I'm going to fail potions... If I fail potions I'm never going to end up as a Healer and will instead be forced to live the life of a Welcome Witch at St. Mungo's thus enabling my life-long depression and hate for the world!"

"Wow, not even 2 weeks into the school year and you're already worried about failing at life?" Amanda cut into the conversation with her usual bubbly personality. "Potions is so easy," she scoffed, a false sense of confidence in her voice. "This year is going to be a walk in the park!"

I shot the brunette an annoyed look. "Says you,"

"Rose, don't even start," Amanda groaned. "If anyone's gonna have the easiest walk, it's gonna be you. You're practically perfect at everything."

"Right," I muttered distractedly, staring down at the empty plate of food in front of me. My stomach felt like a hundred knives were digging into it, but I still wasn't going to let that stop me. Taking a sip of water I allowed myself to absent mindedly become enthralled in Sarah and Amanda's painfully mind-numbing conversation about some pregnant 3rd year who had left school grounds after only being back at school for 6 days. _Bloody hell is the gossip around Hogwarts really this pitiable? _After listening to the conversation for 5 minuets I decided it was.

****Later That Day****

"No," My words were soft yet firm. "There's no way-"

"Please?" he begged a sad look in his eyes. "I'll do anything. I'll clean your room all summer!"

"By the time summer rolls around I'll already be 17 and be able to clean my room with-"

"Okay, okay fine! Just let me try out. I promise Rose, I'll do anything!"

"Why!?" I exclaimed angrily glaring down into the blue eyes that were pleading with me as I walked out onto the large quidditch pitch, broom stick in hand. "You hate quidditch, you suck at quidditch! Why in Merlin's name would you want to try out for Seeker? Need I remind you who you'd be up against? Al and the rest of the Slytherin team would cream us if _you _were even standing _near _the Gryfindoor team."

Hugo rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed at my previous response. "I've been practicing! Plus, you know you need a new Seeker with Andrew Brown having graduated last year!"

"Yes, but you're not exactly the person who I was praying would take up the position," I muttered facing my brother directly, an annoyed look planted on my face. "You haven't signed up, you suck at quidditch, and you regularly mock the sport itself. Give me one good reason I should let you try out."

"Because you love me, and would be my favorite sibling if you gave me this one, teeny tiny chance..."

"...I'm your only sibling," I rolled my eyes as I watched Hugo give me a pathetic looking puppy-dog pout. Racking my brain for a good reason or any reason really, to say no I finally just gave up and nodded my head. "Fine, go grab a damn school boom and for god sakes hurry up!"

_This should be oddly entertaining, _I thought dismally watching my brother smile broadly and virtually skip away. Turning towards the large group gathered in the center of the field I let out a deep sigh. Maybe this whole quidditch captain thing was going to be harder then I had thought...

**--------**

It was almost painful to watch my brother play quidditch. Really it was. I wasn't quite sure weather to laugh or cry. So instead I just started at him, mouth wide open, praying someone would prove to be a better Seeker then he was.

The saddest part, though? The fact that not a single person trying out for Gryffindor Seeker was a better quidditch player then him. Sure, I could have put one of the two 3rd year girls on the team and just prayed they wouldn't have fallen off their broom sticks during the first match, but I figured if one person had to be brutally injured at the teams expense it might as well be someone who I could look in the eyes and say "I told you so" to.

"Rose you're not seriously thinking about letting Hugo join the team are you?" was the one question I had to be forced to face with in the locker room after tryouts.

"What do you propose then? I let Amy or Jamie be the team's new Seeker?" was my irritable reply to Elizabeth Thomas's prodding question. "Something tells me they'd manage to get a concussion before the first match even started."

"Can't you just pay James to rejoin the team? I mean seriously Rose, Hugo verses Al Potter? Slytherins will be gloating for YEARS!"

"Well, I guess we'll just have to practice harder then won't we?" I stated simply before turning and walking out of the locker room silently saying goodbye to any free time I might have possibly possessed during the present school year.

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**A/N: So hopefully you understood that. Nothing overly eventful going on at the present time, but rest assured more stuff will happen! (We have to have Scorpius somewhere in this, don't we?) hehe **

**Thanks for reading, please review! **


	4. Hunger Pains

I silently bit down on my bottom lip and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the searing hunger pains that were raging through my stomach at that very moment. Amanda and Sarah were down in the great hall, probably shoving their faces full to the brim with food, while I was stuck up in the common room working on some boring potions assignment that I had purposely put off doing so I could use it as an excuse to get away from dinner.

Closing the advanced potions textbook and shoving it into my pack, I agonizingly made my way up the flight of stairs heading towards the Gryffindor girls bathroom. Flinging my bag carelessly down on the floor and making sure no one else was currently inhabiting a stall, I walked over towards the scale that was so menacingly placed in the bathroom and stood on top of it.

My jaw practically dropped down to the floor as the digital red letters popped up. _133. _I had gained two pounds. I HAD GAINED TWO POUNDS!!

_I only eat one meal a day for over two weeks, yet somehow I manage to gain weight?!_

There was something deeply wrong with that statement.

Yep. I was definitely going to have to take this whole weight loss thing into my own hands...

After all-_Nothing could taste as good as thin feels. _

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o **

The following day of my life was fairly uneventful in the grand scheme of things. My mind wandered when it should have been listening to my dreary professors' blabber on about the importance of something relating to the subject they were teaching. I managed to humiliate myself in front of at least 10 witnesses by dropping my books after casually bumping into a first year Hufflepuff girl. Scorpius Malfoy completely ignored my pitiable existence...

Oh, and I also managed to go the entire day on just an apple, a piece of toast and a tic-tac Sarah had given me during our walk to Charms class.

It was a slight improvement.

"Soooo," Amanda's voice was like nails on a chalkboard as I walked into the Gryffindor common room with a raging headache that didn't seem to be going away anytime soon. Just my luck. "How was the first quidditch practice of the season?"

"Horrible!" I spat my voice quivering with anger as I plopped down on the couch in-between Amanda and some random 3rd year who was sitting next to her. "My brother is a complete failure at everything."

"You can't say that," Amanda insisted closing the book she had been reading and looking at me. "But I take it Gryffindor's newest addition to the team isn't doing so hot on the quidditch pitch, huh?"

"That's an understatement," I muttered my brown eyes glued down to the floor. "We're screwed. Slytherin is going to kill us this year," Groaning I put both my hands up to my face. "Where did I go wrong?"

"Well I mean," Amanda breathed. "You did kind of procrastinate with quidditch tryouts and everythin-"

"What?!" I cried accusingly. "You think this is my fault!?"

"I-I just mean well, you know. It's been almost 3 weeks since the start of school and-"

"Well, why don't you try juggling school and quidditch tryouts and then you can come complain to me about how I shoul-!"

"Rose, Rose stop! You know I didn't mean it like that!" Amanda cried her voice apologetic as I hastily stood up from my seat on the couch. "I just meant-"

"I know what you meant," I snapped. For some reason I felt an immense amount of anger build up inside me as I stared at my friend. "And I get it, okay?" With that I stormed away leaving the brunette looking both confused and hurt.

The pain that was previously scorching through my empty stomach was soon forgotten as I caught a slight glimpse of my fat reflection in the window of Gryffindor tower. Angrily I stormed through the portrait hole not quite knowing _why_ exactly I was so angry or _where_ in the castle I was planning to go. It didn't really matter too much, though. As long as I was alone I didn't care.

_Get away from them, _A voice in my head whispered. _They're not your real friends. _

I nodded my head, not even bothering to care that I might have temporarily been going crazy. Turning a corner, I blinked back the tears I could already feel welling up in my brown eyes. I refused to cry. Only weak people cry. I wasn't weak.

I felt slightly dizzy as I proceeded to walk ever faster down the completely deserted hallway. My eyes began to blur as the surrounding corridor started to spin aimlessly, causing me to get even dizzier then I already was. I halted abruptly and stood completely still, putting my hand up to my throbbing head before I felt my knees buckle and my body fall down against the cold, hard ground.

Everything went black.

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**A/N: Sorry for the short, crappy-ness of this chapter. I know it took a long time, but I've gotten kinda wrapped up in my other story 'The Silver Trio'. Go check it out if you want. It's a little happier then this one. Well...not really. But still.**

"**Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"-A common quote on pro-anorexia sites. If you think things like that during this and upcoming chapters will act as a 'trigger' then I suggest you stop reading this story right now.**

**  
Anyway, thanks for reading!****  
Click on the magic button! vv**


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